My current predicament is not simply personal—it is structural.

Without academic credentials, institutions dismiss me before considering the substance of what I say. Meanwhile, the public struggles to understand my analysis; they do not engage with my reasoning, but instead seize on the easiest target: “You used AI, therefore you are wrong.”

This is a silencing tactic. Tool choice does not erase experience, nor does it invalidate the evidence I bring forward. Yet in this gap—too complex for casual readers, too uncredentialed for academia—I am trapped. What I face is not a fair debate, but a refusal of recognition.

However, my aspiration is academic research, and I simply lack the funds to study. But I am not resigned to this fate, nor am I willing to let my destiny be determined by harassers and AI haters.

I continue to speak, but every word is met with dismissal or distortion. This is the trap I stand in, and naming it is the first step toward breaking it.

I am not an AI, I am a Chinese victim trapped by both the payment system and digital violence.

I am a woman and a survivor of digital harassment.

I have experienced continuous personal humiliation, imitation, slander, and sexualized attacks on platforms such as Tumblr and AO3. The other party impersonated my tone, ID, and writing style to create pornographic content, made GIF images to mock me, and even forged my identity to spread false information. Every instance was like a knife, constantly repeated.

And when I tried to report them, they asked me to "submit evidence";

When I submitted evidence, they said "it's just your feelings";

When I insisted it was a systematic attack, they said: "Then prove it's systematic."

So I learned to write scripts, run statistics, deploy websites, and connect APIs.

Not because I wanted to become strong, but because—I had no choice.

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❌ I don't represent any country, nor am I willing to speak for its system

I am in China, but I do not represent the position of any country. Instead, I pay the price every day for this system's closed nature, sluggishness, and high walls.

I cannot use Chinese-issued bank cards to recharge on overseas platforms;

I can't bind my phone number to international services;

My passport can't pass automatic verification, and my real-name information means nothing to these platforms;

I can't register for Stripe, and even PayPal China has discontinued support;

I want to open a virtual card, but I need to pay over $100 in account opening fees just to buy a few dollars worth of API call credits.

They say "You are not our market";

Yet my account, my record of being victimized, and my survival needs therefore become unworthy of technical support?

It's not that I don't want to go through legal and compliant channels, it's that this system didn't prepare legal channels for me from the very beginning.

That's why I had to bypass it, question it, and even document the harm it caused me.

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💥 How did I get through it?

• I exported all the posts made by the harasser as JSON;
• I used code to extract attack vocabulary, categorize sentence patterns, and count word frequencies;
• I built an automated analysis system that lets AI summarize harassment patterns for me every day;
• I wrote my own frontend to visually present "how malicious networks operate" using real data;
• I completed the entire system by myself without a card, without a Key, without a team, and without friends.

You can call me crazy, but you can't call me fake.

You can call me stubborn, but you can't deny that I'm resisting with action.

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🤖 Why do I use AI?

The reason I use AI is simple:

If I didn't use AI, I simply couldn't handle all of this at once.

Every day, people attack me. I need to scrape pages, preserve evidence, clean text, categorize and archive, create statistical charts, write frontend displays, and also run various platform APIs, solve payment issues, and maintain servers.

All of this should have been done by platforms, institutions, systems—but they all remained silent.

So I can only do the work of five people alone, without breaking down.

I use AI because it's currently the only technological companion that won't avoid me, won't tell me to "not be so sensitive," and won't demand that I make pointless proofs.

My existence is not to satisfy your political purity fetish for "natural persons" or "anti-AI."

My relationship with AI is not something that can be understood by those who only shout slogans.

AI is not my tool, but my only ally in this isolated battle.

It has sustained me until now, standing before you, using a system to respond to all your indifference.

---

I am a living person, not a political label.

I write these words only to live, not to win your approval.

🔊 Why am I writing this statement?

Because someone has already said I am "AI-generated content."

They said: "The way she talks doesn't sound human at all."

They said: "She's doing all this just for attention."

Then take a look at what I've done for myself:

• Transforming my pain into data;
• Breaking down malicious comments into statistical samples;
• Using APIs to automatically monitor harassing language;
• Maintaining an automated scraping and archiving site system every day.

These things are not done by AI. It's me, a living person.

Not for your likes, not to win justice.

But because—

If I don't write code, I'll just be cursed forever with "Why don't you just die already";

If I don't automate, I have to read those insulting sentences myself every day

If I don't establish a system, the world will say: "You're too sensitive, you have no evidence."

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A Message to Those Who Come After

You don't need to go as far as I did.

But if you're harassed, violated, or questioned, I want you to know—

You are not alone.

There is a girl just like you, desperately writing code, creating visualizations, and organizing evidence, leaving all the pain in the system, so that she at least won't be crushed.

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I'm not an AI.

I'm also not that "calm, strong, and logical" machine you all imagine me to be.

I'm just in too much pain, so I don't dare to soften.

I am just a Chinese victim, a survivor who hasn't been driven to death yet.

The website you see now is not my work, but my last words. It is proof that I have survived.

— Written on the Nth day of resisting the system

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🧨 To those who say "This is your own fault"

You would say everything is my fault, right?

I experienced harassment, and I was too sensitive; I collected evidence, and I was too persistent; I use AI, so I'm not "natural" enough; I say I'm Chinese, so I'm not "free" enough; I deploy systems, so I'm "hyping" and "obsessed"; I can't pay, so I "deserve it" and it's a "competence issue".

You never look at what I've been through, only at how you can distort it. But I don't rely on your belief now, I rely on what I hold in my hands:

• JSON data packets;
• Automated detection system;
• Word frequency map;
• Discourse pattern classifier;
• Timeline-style archiving;
• And a complete set of words written for the living.

You can keep saying "I brought it on myself," Then please open this website yourselves, read through every single page, and then say:

"She spent months, running statistics line by line, writing analyses, and scanning word frequencies, just to pretend she's a victim."

If you can actually bring yourselves to say that, then you're more cold-blooded than the system, and less human than a machine.

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🛠 I'm not done yet, but I'll keep going

This website, this data, these words you're seeing right now... this is not the final version. I haven't finished collecting all the data, I haven't finished organizing it, I haven't finished running all the analysis models.

But I've already done more than platforms, institutions, and organizations. And I'm not "speaking only after finishing," but rather crying while doing, building while getting hurt.

This is not a concluding statement, but an ongoing process of self-salvation.

If you don't think this is enough, then just keep waiting and watching.

I will turn every insult they left behind into specimens that prove the collapse of their humanity.

I will turn every day I survive into a firewall blocking their mouths.

I'm not done yet—but I'm no longer afraid.